All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
