just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
