i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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