a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
