1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
