RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He shit in the fireplace
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
