Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
