just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you never un-have a 4some
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
