Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that's an acceptable place to lick
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
