That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
