and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
