We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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