Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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