I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
