Will you blow on my dice?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
