i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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