i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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