why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
