Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
