i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
