What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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