I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
