you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
