the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
