I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
