Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
