Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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