And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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