told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
