You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
