I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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