Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
