I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
