Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
