um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my poor anus
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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