all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Your dad touched me again.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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