i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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