Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
