Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
