I wish I could punch you in the face.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
