the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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