So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
