ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
