Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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