dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
