is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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