Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
