I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She even gives head with a lisp.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
