Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
