you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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